MIrror, Mirror

I tried for about 30 minutes to write about "E" in the D.I.E.T. acrostic, but it just would not come out. So I have decided to put that aside for this blog and write about what God has been wanting me to write about since this past weekend.

I have a real problem with my self image. Most of the time I see myself as OK looking. Sometimes I look at myself and all I see are the flaws, other times I look at myself and I just can't stand what I see. I know that God created me in His image, but sometimes it is really hard for me to see Him in me. My 4 year old son Luke, has an amazing way of making me realize that I am beautiful in Christ. He is always quick to notice the physical changes that I make. If I get my hair cut, he will be one of the first to say "Mom, I like your new haircut." But it is the unexpected times that really make me stop. One day I was wearing my hair differently and I had the sides of my hair pulled back in a clip and he was sitting on the kitchen counter beside me as I was doing something and he looked at me and it was like he had just then seen me for the first time that day and he put his precious little hand on my cheek and said in the most awe inspired voice, "Oh momma, you are beautiful!" It was one of those days, when I was feeling anything but beautiful. At first I thought he was just talking about my hair, but it seems that whenever I am having a day where I am really struggling God will pull these comments out of Luke.

Today I don't feel like I had a very good eating day. I had a late breakfast of pancakes with syrup - BAD! I had about 3-4 squares of pizza and a big glass of hot chocolate for lunch - BAD! And for supper since it was David's birthday, he wanted lasagna (which if you have ever had my lasagna you know it is good but not good for you!!!) and I made an apple pie for him (we don't do birthday cake, we do birthday pies) -BAD,BAD,BAD!! So even though I feel good about watching my portion size of lasagna, I am still kicking myself for eating that blasted pie and the Texas Toast that went with the lasagna. After supper Luke is sitting on my lap and I am trimming his nails. He had brought over this nail kit that has a little mirror in it and he pulls that mirror out and puts it right in front of my face and says "Don't you want to see how beautiful you are mom, can't you see?" Right then I couldn't see. All I could see was my fat face, my huge double chin. But that is not what God wants me to be looking at in the mirror. He wants me to look in that mirror and see the beauty that He created. He wants me to see the beauty in the works that He does in and through me.

I truly believe that God uses Luke and his innocence to help me realize that I need to look past what I see if the mirror. I need to look past the physical aspect and concentrate instead on the beautiful works that I do through the grace of God. I think He also uses Luke to help me remember that God created me in His image. I do not believe that God creates ugliness. If that is what I am seeing, then I am not seeing what God created. I need to look deeper at myself and shut out the ugly voices I am hearing (Satan, flesh, environment). So how do I do that? First I guess I have to grasp that child-like view that Luke has and just notice the differences that I see in me. I need to reflect on the week that I have had and not just this one day. This past week, I lost 3.8 pounds. Now this may not seem like a big deal to some people, but this is huge for me! In the past, it has taken me three weeks to lose this much weight. Maybe I need to notice the way my cheekbones look when I look in the mirror. Second, I need to get into the Word and rediscover what it means to be made into the image of God. I need to be reminded that the beauty on the inside of me is so much more important than anything that I or the world can see on the outside. Finally, I need to relish the moments of Luke reminding me that I am beautiful. I need to just stop and look into that mirror to try to see what he is seeing. I need to just sit still and feel the soft innocence of his hand on my face. And I need to just hug and kiss Luke and tell him thanks for helping me to see my beauty that God created.