MIrror, Mirror

I tried for about 30 minutes to write about "E" in the D.I.E.T. acrostic, but it just would not come out. So I have decided to put that aside for this blog and write about what God has been wanting me to write about since this past weekend.

I have a real problem with my self image. Most of the time I see myself as OK looking. Sometimes I look at myself and all I see are the flaws, other times I look at myself and I just can't stand what I see. I know that God created me in His image, but sometimes it is really hard for me to see Him in me. My 4 year old son Luke, has an amazing way of making me realize that I am beautiful in Christ. He is always quick to notice the physical changes that I make. If I get my hair cut, he will be one of the first to say "Mom, I like your new haircut." But it is the unexpected times that really make me stop. One day I was wearing my hair differently and I had the sides of my hair pulled back in a clip and he was sitting on the kitchen counter beside me as I was doing something and he looked at me and it was like he had just then seen me for the first time that day and he put his precious little hand on my cheek and said in the most awe inspired voice, "Oh momma, you are beautiful!" It was one of those days, when I was feeling anything but beautiful. At first I thought he was just talking about my hair, but it seems that whenever I am having a day where I am really struggling God will pull these comments out of Luke.

Today I don't feel like I had a very good eating day. I had a late breakfast of pancakes with syrup - BAD! I had about 3-4 squares of pizza and a big glass of hot chocolate for lunch - BAD! And for supper since it was David's birthday, he wanted lasagna (which if you have ever had my lasagna you know it is good but not good for you!!!) and I made an apple pie for him (we don't do birthday cake, we do birthday pies) -BAD,BAD,BAD!! So even though I feel good about watching my portion size of lasagna, I am still kicking myself for eating that blasted pie and the Texas Toast that went with the lasagna. After supper Luke is sitting on my lap and I am trimming his nails. He had brought over this nail kit that has a little mirror in it and he pulls that mirror out and puts it right in front of my face and says "Don't you want to see how beautiful you are mom, can't you see?" Right then I couldn't see. All I could see was my fat face, my huge double chin. But that is not what God wants me to be looking at in the mirror. He wants me to look in that mirror and see the beauty that He created. He wants me to see the beauty in the works that He does in and through me.

I truly believe that God uses Luke and his innocence to help me realize that I need to look past what I see if the mirror. I need to look past the physical aspect and concentrate instead on the beautiful works that I do through the grace of God. I think He also uses Luke to help me remember that God created me in His image. I do not believe that God creates ugliness. If that is what I am seeing, then I am not seeing what God created. I need to look deeper at myself and shut out the ugly voices I am hearing (Satan, flesh, environment). So how do I do that? First I guess I have to grasp that child-like view that Luke has and just notice the differences that I see in me. I need to reflect on the week that I have had and not just this one day. This past week, I lost 3.8 pounds. Now this may not seem like a big deal to some people, but this is huge for me! In the past, it has taken me three weeks to lose this much weight. Maybe I need to notice the way my cheekbones look when I look in the mirror. Second, I need to get into the Word and rediscover what it means to be made into the image of God. I need to be reminded that the beauty on the inside of me is so much more important than anything that I or the world can see on the outside. Finally, I need to relish the moments of Luke reminding me that I am beautiful. I need to just stop and look into that mirror to try to see what he is seeing. I need to just sit still and feel the soft innocence of his hand on my face. And I need to just hug and kiss Luke and tell him thanks for helping me to see my beauty that God created.

Inspiration - LIVE...

Often times when you talk to people who have had a significant weight loss and kept it off they will tell you about their motivating factor. They almost always have one and it is something very real to them. I call this the "IT". What is the one thing that is going to truly motivate you to make a healthy lifestyle change? The answer is your "IT".

I always thought my "IT" would be completely about physical change. "I don't want my kids to be embarrassed to introduce me to their friends because of how I look." "I'm tired of being the fat mom at all of the school parties and events." "I want to be able to walk from the basement to the third floor bedrooms without being so light-headed from lack of oxygen that I think I'm going to pass out!" "I don't want my stomach to be the part of my body that sticks out the farthest (if you know what I mean)."

Now I am beginning to realize that my "IT" is not really about a physical change. Oh sure, those physical changes will be a great bonus, but they are not motivating - they are the result. My "IT" is about wanting to live. I have to want to be healthy. I have to want to live a healthy lifestyle. I want to live up to what God created me for!! I CAN'T do that living how I currently live! Ephesian 4:1 says, "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." Are you doing that now? I haven't been. What is worthy about being so unhealthy? Of setting a poor, poor example to my kids? Right now I exercise sometimes. I eat whatever, whenever, so that completely negates the exercise I do. These actions in no way show how grateful I am to God for all He gives me and all He promises me. Bu I can change this. I can choose to live!

Everyone needs to find their own inspiration. You might do this by making a trip to the doctor and him telling you "Listen your going to die or be on 10-15 different medications to keep you alive if you don't change your lifestyle." It might be from wanting to keep up with "the Jones'." It might be from wanting to fit into those size 10 jeans that you have had since before you found out you were pregnant with your first child. Or your inspiration might come from the Bible and from the Holy Spirit. I certainly believe that if you pray and ask and then wait and listen, God will lead you to your "IT". After that it's time for you to step up and take responsibility. God can inspire you, but He won't make you follow through...that's YOUR job!!

"D" Does Not Stand for Diet

Life change is not an easy thing to accomplish. We are a very "set in stone" kind of people as a whole. There just aren't many of us who like change...especially a change that is going to involve exercise and eating less and more healthy! The "D" in D.I.E.T. has to stand for something that is going to allow us to want to change. It needs to be powerful enough to give us the courage and strength to follow through with our New Life Resolutions. The "D" in D.I.E.T. stands for Dedication-Honoring God with your Body! What should be more powerful than our dedication to our God? The correct answer is nothing. So exactly how can we do this, you might be wondering? By asking and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead you as instructed in Galatians 5:16. Did you get that? You have to ask, but more importantly you have to allow the Holy Spirit to work. I personally am such a failure at that sometimes because I get too impatient! I ask and I might wait a while, but pretty soon if I haven't heard from Him, I start thinking too much and I start acting too soon. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the strength that only He can. Ask for those cravings to be tempered. Ask for a restful nights sleep so you have the energy to exercise. But don't forget your part...to ask God for something doesn't mean our work is done. Just the opposite is true, we have to work, but we do it with the strength that "rose Christ from the dead". (Phrase borrowed from my illustrious pastor :-)

Above I mentioned Galatians 5:16. This verse states, "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature". Our flesh is so weak. We give in to cravings, wants, and excuses so easily! We can depend on the Holy Spirit for self control, but we have to know Him first. We have to know when to listen and how to discern Him from our feelings or wants. That can only happen if we open our Bibles and immerse ourselves. Think about it...can you truly know someone just from what you have heard from others? Of course not! Open the Bible and read what our Father says, know Him and He will speak to you.

Will you allow the Holy Spirit to control you? To discipline your emotion? It's not easy to give up that kind of control over yourself. It might be the only thing that will save you from yourself though. What emotions trigger you to eat? We all need to learn to go to our knees, not the refrigerator, when these emotions strike. What keeps you from walking, running, exercising? Go to your knees and ask God to help you overcome. Can you honor God with a fat, unhealthy, "can't walk up a flight of stairs" body? Should we try to? Doesn't He deserve our best, because the best is what He gave us?

So "D" most definitly does not stand for diet! But it could stand for "Dang it I am not going to fail this time, because I have God on my side!"